Why Did I Do It?

Why did i do it?
I didn’t have a choice
I didn’t want to be alone
I couldn’t be the outcast yet again
I needed to do it to be accepted

Now I’m invited to all the parties
I’m no longer a joke
I’m finally worthy of their time
I can never be the old me again
Why did i do it?

I took all the drinks they offered
I took a long drag of that weird stuff, just like they said
I even let him touch me
Why did I do it?

It’s alright if I have to cry alone at night
As long as in the day time i still have friends
As long as they still want me
I’ve given up everything for them
Why did I do it?

Each day i have to do something different
Something to keep me worthy of them
Something they’d praise me for
Something the old me would never think of
I even gave them my body
This is my life now
Why did I do it?

I see them in the distance
I run to catch up with my friends
But the thought keeps nagging
Why did i do it?
What choice did i have


2 thoughts on “Why Did I Do It?

  1. You did it because you wanted validation. It’s obvious that you’re second-guessing your actions. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe now you can step back and re-evaluate if the validation was even worth it.

    As for the guilty pleasure described in your poem. Come on! Kini big deal!

    Liked by 1 person

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